Let me tell you a little something about myself when I was in elementary school. I didn’t take any crap from anyone. And most certainly not any stupid little boys! I was one of those chicks who always wanted to be first when it came to going down the slide or swinging on the tire swing. When I felt something was rightfully mine, and I think it usually was, I tried to get it. Here’s an example of that.
Imagine a cute little innocent girl on the blacktop playing all by her self. She’s just skipping back and forth because of course all the balls and hoola hoops and cool things that those were taken. They were always a “hot” item on the playground. This little girl finally spots a little red ball just laying there. She looks left. No one to be found. She looks right. Again, no one to be found. That meant there was probably no one playing with it at the moment. HALLELUJIAH! Finally something to play with! She starts skipping over to the ball, all the while envisioning her self having extreme amounts of fun bouncing and throwing and catching and loving this little red ball. When she got about half way to this ball, she sees out of the corner of her eye a little boy charging at the ball like a wild fiend! In fear of losing her one true love, the little girl mustered up all the strength possible to sprint (gracefully, of course) to her one hope of happiness. Unfortunately, the little boy beat her. Instead of just taking his victory and going away, the little boy decided to taunt the girl with it by saying “HA! I got the ball and you didn’t! Nana, nana, boo, boo!” This enraged the little girl. Before she could control herself, she shoved the taunting boy. This was terrible timing on the little girl’s part because there was a teacher near by who happened to glance over and see her push the malicious boy. The teacher decided something needed to be done so she sauntered over to see what was happening. The little girl didn’t notice the teacher coming due to her blind rage towards the malevolent boy. The teacher asked what the problem was. Not knowing what to say, and knowing she’d get in trouble for telling the truth, the little girl began to weep. In the saddest, most broken voice she could rally, the little girl jabbed a finger towards her nemesis and exclaimed through her tears, “He pushed me first! And then he stole my ball!” “Well that wasn’t very nice! Come with me” was the teacher’s response to the little girl’s accusation. The teacher took away the wicked boy and left the little girl with her little red ball to rejoice and play merrily.
This a tale of one of my most memorable experiences on the harsh elementary school playground. I know what you’re thinking, “wow, what a mean little girl!” But if you really think about it, what would you have done in that situation? I had to fend for myself. It was a harsh world out there.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Poof, Be Gone
Poof, be gone. Your breath is really strong. I hate to be mean, but you need some listerine. Not a squiggle, not a squaggle, but the whole damn bottle. Wait, come back! You need a tic-tac. Not one, not two, but the whole six pack.
Peace, punch, captain crunch, I got something you can’t touch. Bang, bang, choo choo train, wind me up I do my thang. Reese’s Pieces buttercup, mess with me I’ll mess you up!
Brick wall, waterfall, girl you think you got it all. You don’t. I do. So poof with that attitude!
I have just recited a few of the infamous elementary school play ground chants. Most of the time these were only used as a way to be funny with your friends. It was super cool to use a derogatory term such as “damn”. This was also used to get away with saying mean things because these kinds of chants were never used in a serious manor. At least that people know of. It may have been one of those things where the girls started saying it with a hint of humor to it but as it continued, it turned into malice and hatred for the person she chanted it at.
The bad thing about these were whenever you had a reason to use it, like the boy who stole your ball won’t give it back and the teacher isn’t paying any attention to you, you can’t seem to remember to use them. That happens a lot at many different times in my life. For instance, when I’m driving and someone pulls out in front of me, prime time to use my car horn, I never think to reach over and honk it. Later I look back and think “wow why couldn’t I have just thought to do that. I bet that person would’ve gotten the idea much better than me yelling at them inside my car where they can’t even hear me.” It always seems the most important things are the hardest to remember.
Peace, punch, captain crunch, I got something you can’t touch. Bang, bang, choo choo train, wind me up I do my thang. Reese’s Pieces buttercup, mess with me I’ll mess you up!
Brick wall, waterfall, girl you think you got it all. You don’t. I do. So poof with that attitude!
I have just recited a few of the infamous elementary school play ground chants. Most of the time these were only used as a way to be funny with your friends. It was super cool to use a derogatory term such as “damn”. This was also used to get away with saying mean things because these kinds of chants were never used in a serious manor. At least that people know of. It may have been one of those things where the girls started saying it with a hint of humor to it but as it continued, it turned into malice and hatred for the person she chanted it at.
The bad thing about these were whenever you had a reason to use it, like the boy who stole your ball won’t give it back and the teacher isn’t paying any attention to you, you can’t seem to remember to use them. That happens a lot at many different times in my life. For instance, when I’m driving and someone pulls out in front of me, prime time to use my car horn, I never think to reach over and honk it. Later I look back and think “wow why couldn’t I have just thought to do that. I bet that person would’ve gotten the idea much better than me yelling at them inside my car where they can’t even hear me.” It always seems the most important things are the hardest to remember.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Glitter is the Herpes of the Craft World
I’m sure just about every person who has ever been alive in the last century has come in contact with glitter in one way or another. Maybe you’re the type of person who just absolutely loves glitter and uses it every chance you get. Perhaps you or a family member had to use it for a project. Or maybe you bought or tried on a piece of clothing with glitter on it. Whatever it is, virtually everyone has come in contact with glitter.
I find glitter extremely annoying. It’s extremely annoying when you’re have a conversation with someone, most likely a serious one cause that makes it even worse, and they stop you mid sentence to inform you that you have glitter on your face. Then you spend about 5 minutes swatting at your face all the while continuously asking the other person if you’ve gotten it and about the first 20 times that person replies no, you didn’t even touch it. Then the person goes into a long, drawn out description of the location of this contagion on your face followed by you not even touching it once again. It ruins everything that was happening previously. Whenever it happens to me, I forget the point I was trying to make and in what direction I was going with what I was saying. It just stops the flow of the conversation. In extreme cases, I get so frustrated that I can’t get this thing off my face that I have to storm off to the bathroom and look in the mirror to get it off. If not disposed of, many people all day comment on it and inform you several times of the terrible experience you’ve just gone through.
This could also be said about herpes. If you have herpes and tell someone, it kind of ruins the flow of what is happening and slash or disgusts the person so much they never want to talk to you again. The only thing about glitter is it’s shiny and pretty, whereas herpes looks really gross. I’ve seen picture in FACS class.
I find glitter extremely annoying. It’s extremely annoying when you’re have a conversation with someone, most likely a serious one cause that makes it even worse, and they stop you mid sentence to inform you that you have glitter on your face. Then you spend about 5 minutes swatting at your face all the while continuously asking the other person if you’ve gotten it and about the first 20 times that person replies no, you didn’t even touch it. Then the person goes into a long, drawn out description of the location of this contagion on your face followed by you not even touching it once again. It ruins everything that was happening previously. Whenever it happens to me, I forget the point I was trying to make and in what direction I was going with what I was saying. It just stops the flow of the conversation. In extreme cases, I get so frustrated that I can’t get this thing off my face that I have to storm off to the bathroom and look in the mirror to get it off. If not disposed of, many people all day comment on it and inform you several times of the terrible experience you’ve just gone through.
This could also be said about herpes. If you have herpes and tell someone, it kind of ruins the flow of what is happening and slash or disgusts the person so much they never want to talk to you again. The only thing about glitter is it’s shiny and pretty, whereas herpes looks really gross. I’ve seen picture in FACS class.
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